Your tips for making friends in Spain

It can be especially tough when you move to a new country to start your life all over again and make new friends and connections from scratch. The process can at times make you feel lonely. 

Recently, we spoke to professional therapists about the major reasons for loneliness among foreigners in Spain and ways you can overcome this, but this time we wanted to hear from our readers to hear what they think and find out what has actually worked for them. 

On our Facebook page, we asked ‘Do you have any tips for overcoming loneliness in Spain’ and had over 100 responses and some great advice from those that have already moved here and found ways of making new connections.

Overwhelmingly, the majority of you said to join local clubs or activities.

“Join as many group meet-ups as possible. Ideally, find groups online that match your interests and attend every time there’s a gathering… Some groups will stick and some won’t – that’s to be expected. We’ve made some great friends since moving to Valencia nine months ago,” one reader commented.

“Your ayuntamiento [town hall] will have a list of all the local clubs and societies, usually with a WhatsApp list to join. Once you’re on a few WhatsApp groups with your Spanish friends and neighbours your social life will take off! Our ayuntamiento organises loads of excursions plus a couple of holidays exploring other parts of Spain,” another advised.

“I joined the village crotchet club and love it. I’m not very good at it compared to the other ladies and no one speaks English, but they have made me so welcome. Both my husband and myself have joined the local community association, and we get involved in helping out at village events,” another explained.

Other people talked about joining art groups, while a couple of readers mentioned the University of the Third Age, which has some centres in Spain.

“If your area has a U3A then do join, it offers lots of opportunity to meet people. Spain has lots of dance groups that cater for all levels and dance types and dancers are always friendly,” one explained.

READ ALSO – ‘Work out what’s missing’: Therapists’ tips on overcoming loneliness in Spain

One reader advised people to start a new group in your area if there isn’t one already. “You’re most likely to make friends with other immigrants. Spanish people already have their friends, often the same ones they’ve had since childhood. They will be kind and friendly, but it’s not very likely you’ll form deep friendships. Other immigrants are looking to form social ties, so they’ll be more open to friendship,” they wrote.

In fact, several people agreed and also advised to start by joining groups of other foreigners. 

“Look at your local expat community, there are people who live in a new country who will be supportive, you got this!” someone commented.

Many readers agreed, however, that if you really wanted to integrate and make local friends and not feel so lonely here, then you needed to learn Spanish or another language in your region.

“Try to learn Spanish and keep improving.. get out and meet your neighbours. Spaniards are the most lovely people,” one reader wrote.

A local Spanish reader agreed, saying “Learn the language, don’t just hang out with your fellow countrymen, and try to engage in activities where there are diverse groups of people”.  

“Immerse into Spanish culture ASAP… Solitude comes from disconnection to the new culture. When you do, you’ll find Spanish people are very open in general but one has to let oneself adapt to the new without expecting what we are used to in our expat culture,” another added.

READ ALSO – ‘The feeling of isolation is worse’: Foreigners in Spain recount their loneliness

A lot of readers commented that volunteering was one of the best ways that they made friends and got involved in their local communities.

“Volunteering for charity shops is another good way of meeting people,” one wrote.

“Volunteer at a local charity shop or soup kitchen or animal shelter,” another agreed.

“Mix with the locals and get involved- I coached rugby and made so many good friends,” another added.

Another popular solution many readers agreed upon was to get a dog.

“Adopt a dog and walk it in dog parks. Everyone is talking to each other,” explained one.

“Get yourself a dog for company, that’s what I did, soulmates forever,” another agreed.

One person, however, simply believed that the best way to make friends is to sit on a park bench as this is what you’ll see many of the elderly locals doing.

A few readers talked about finding their people through religion and advised people to join their local church.

“Find a church, talk to people be open, start a conversation. Invite a new friend for a cup of coffee,” a reader commented.

“In Benalmádena, Arroyo De La Miel area, we have English Mass at 1:30pm, Irish priest. Father Gerrard always invites everyone for a refreshment or glass of wine in the outdoor patio, once mass has finished,” another explained, encouraging others to join her.

Whatever groups you get involved in “you need to get out and seek your tribe,” one reader summed it up well.